Author. Blogger. Chipmunk enthusiast.
To my fellow Americans, and anyone else who believes in freedom, equality and really, REALLY good barbecue…
I wasn’t going to post today, but Uncle Jesse had something to tell you:
Any plans for today? How mad are you that we have to go back to work tomorrow (if you don’t, listen, don’t be a snot-bucket and rub it in)?
You thought this post was going to be about my labradoodle, Uncle Jesse, didn’t you?
Well, you’re wrong. Okay. Half wrong.
Uncle Jesse DID celebrate his 2nd birthday yesterday, after all:
I’m pretty sure he’s a contender for Happiest Animal in the World. We got him as a puppy, from an extremely reputable breeder, after doing months of research to find a breed that would be compatible with my husband’s allergies. (I am a huge supporter of animal adoption, which you can read about over on JM Randolph’s amazing blog, Accidental Stepmom.)
When Uncle Jesse licks his lips, sometimes the hair on one side gets a little caught up, and it looks like he’s smirking.
When his mouth is open, the sides of his mouth are upturned, resembling a smile.
All in all, he’s one content-looking pooch.
Yup. It would seem Uncle Jesse has the Happiest Animal in the World contest in the bag.
Nay, Chipmunks. My best friend, Jenn, just shared the following link with me (and if this doesn’t prove why we’re sisters from another mister, I don’t know what will):
Here’s a sneak peek. Even the captions are priceless. You can thank me in animal crackers. Or vodka.
Photo and caption credit (sloth): http://www.buzzfeed.com.
Do you have a favorite animal? Can you (please) send me pictures?
It’s only February, and already I’m bursting at the seams with guilty pleasures, some new, some old. I can’t contain it any longer, so I’m just going to spew them out all over this post. I mean, delicately list them on this delightful blog with the most fetching of phrases.
Yeah. It’s my new thing. Of course, there’s the obvious:
And then the not so obvious (thanks, Babs!):
This one really needs no introduction. (Advance apologies for my ‘puppy voice.’) And yes, the whole family loves The Office.
I am truly ashamed of the level of vanity my Mac Photo Booth application inspires (yes, these pictures are all linked to actual blog posts of mine…sigh).
My vanity knows no bounds. After taking Uncle Jesse for a routine (and costly!) visit to the groomer’s last week, I decided that the time had come to stop cutting and dying my own hair. Hallelujah!
This is a vintage guilty pleasure for me, and this past weekend, I started recruiting a whole new generation.
What’s your guiltiest pleasure of 2012 (so far)? If you’re feeling shy: how much do you love my new haircut?
Okay. Maybe not sexiest. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. (I’m a guilty pleasure blogger. I don’t judge.)
As you might recall, Uncle Jesse, our [not quite] 2-year-old Australian Labradoodle, had his first photo shoot last month, and the 130+ pictures arrived on Christmas Eve! Thanks, Jenn and Joseph Frazz Photography!
Are you ready for this, celebratory chipmunks?! These were taken in our yard, and yes, we have a giant flag painted on a board on the back fence, courtesy of the original homeowners. (We’re thinking of adding flags from around the world, whaddya think?)
Prepare yourselves for hunk-itude:
And my personal favorite:
How are you celebrating (besides putting your supermodel dog in a gold bow tie? Oh wait, is that just me?)? Any resolutions?
Cheery chipmunks, I got my Christmas tree this weekend! Huzzah!
We went to one of the three Christmas tree farms near our house in western Jersey; this one was a self-serve farm, so we made good use of our chainsaw and lived to tell the tale got an amazing deal.
I busted out my favorite Christmas CD, John Denver and the Muppets, while I decorated (a long-honored tradition).
Of course, no tree of mine is complete without animals dressed as other animals.
And animals dressed as food:
Or homemade ornaments featuring Uncle Jesse in his Christmas sweater:
And there was only one casualty.
Even Uncle Jesse got in on the fun.
To see what else I was up to this weekend, check out these cookies (more on this new site later)!
How are your holiday plans coming along?
Hunky Chipmunks, this post is epic. It’s…
Can I get a what-what? I knew this one had to be special, and as usual, the guilty pleasure gods were on my side.
My most chipmunkalicious friend, Jenn (ya’ll probably remember her from this special post or our guest interview on JM Randolph’s blog), discovered a pet photographer through her volunteer work at the animal shelter, 11th Hour Rescue.
Meet Joseph Frazz.
Joe is awesome for a lot of reasons, like the fact that he volunteers his time to visit shelters and take amazing pictures of cats and dogs. Because what better way to help them get adopted than by showing them in their best light?
Jenn hired Joe to take pictures of her dog, Shunderson, last weekend.
She showed me some of the pics and I lost my shiz.
I told her I would have to hire Joe, too. She replied, “Well…I kind of already did as your Christmas present.” Cue tear-fest.
Joe came over yesterday and conducted Uncle Jesse’s first photo shoot. Naturally, Uncle Jesse felt it was long overdue. Much like his mother, he’s a supermodel at heart. He kept his demands low, and only required filtered water and hand-rolled cigarettes, a new squeaky toy and a bag of organic chicken-flaxseed treats.
(Don’t worry, as soon as I get the rest of the pics, you’ll be the first to know.)
Make sure to check out more of Joe’s phenomenal photography on his Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Joseph-Frazz-Photography/114981261894705
Once upon a time, Mother Nature had a stroke and decided New Jersey was getting off too easy. Sure, sure, there’s tolls on the highways and you can’t bring beer on the beach, but…no scorpions! So, she threw us a heaping scoop of hurricane with a sprinkling of tornado. Nah, she thought, still not cutting it. I know! Earthquake! That seemed to satisfy her for a while, but when October 29th rolled around, she was restless again.
Mother Nature decided she’d start with a smattering of snow. Odd, I thought, but pretty.
Then…BAM!
By the way, that ‘bam’ was the sound of every tree in New Jersey falling on every power line. As the most densely populated state in the U.S., that’s a lot of power lines. The snow was too heavy and the leaves too plentiful; giant branches bowed and then broke.
We weren’t anticipating a true storm (there’s no storm like it on record [for October] since the Civil War), so when it really started coming down and we lost power at 1 o’clock last Saturday afternoon, we headed out in search of a generator and bottled water (we have a well that doesn’t work when we lose power).
We got the last generator, and it was enough to power the fridge. Not the heat or the water. So we waited in the dark. And waited and waited. We blanched at the news that 95% of New Jersey Central Power and Light’s customers would have power restored by the following Thursday, the remaining 5% on Friday. By Thursday?! That was 6 full days away! We had needs! …Like showering for work.
Guess who was in the 5%? Yup. That’s right. 7 days of flushing the toilet with melted snow and creek water later…
Of course, I have to return with a bang, so for your viewing pleasure…
There are many like-minded souls out there, which fills my guilty pleasure heart to the brim. For example, I discovered via Twitter that last Halloween Second Husband bought a squirrel costume from Target for his brother’s dog:
Annnnnd this is why Second Husband is about to get upgraded to Soul Mate status. I mean, a squirrel is almost a chipmunk. Does anyone else see interwoven destiny here? …No? Pssh. See if I try to pawn off my leftover candy corn on you this year.
There are a lot of really compelling, totally unbiased reasons you should fall in love with my dog, Uncle Jesse (yes, that’s right, we named him after a “Full House” character, ’cause we’re cool like that).
For one thing, have you ever seen a grown, otherwise sassy and able-bodied dog eat lying down?
Did I mention he comes over and gives our feet/legs a lick of thanks every time he has a solid drink of water or a satisfying dose of kibs?
Uncle Jesse even looks pathetic-cute after rolling in disgusting things out-of-doors (and getting an immediate bath):
Have mercy for REALSIES.
If Uncle Jesse’s looks and eating habits haven’t won you over, perhaps his mind-control abilities will. When he has to go outside, he simply stands in front of you and stares.
If that doesn’t work, he gets closer.
And then…
Okay, still not smitten? Well, there’s one more test to see if your heart actually works. When I was a Hurricane Irene refugee at my parents’ house, Peppermeister and Uncle J put on this stunning performance:
Guilty pleasure bubbykins, I know it’s been a few days since my last post, but get ready for me to make it up to you!! That’s right. Simply follow these 4 easy steps and you’ll be GOGP-ing in no time.
On Friday morning, thanks to a colleague, I discovered my Project Management Professional (PMP) certification test scores were higher than I thought. I wasn’t particularly keen on being called “moderately proficient” in all 6 test areas, but as it turns out, even scoring “below proficient” on some sections earns you a passing grade. Man. I don’t even know how I keep my head up with all these brains inside it.
On Friday I was also exposed to this brilliant GaGa performance, thanks to Hubster’s Howard Stern-listening ways:
On Saturday morning, we welcomed a gloriously sunny, 80-degree day here in western New Jersey, so the fam went for a hike in the Round Valley reservoir area. Why is that a guilty pleasure, you ask? Because, aside from belting out “The Lazy Song“, we let the dog off his leash for the whole 4 miles (shhh)! Who’s a good boy? Uncle Jesse is, yes he is! Look at these little tree huggers:
As for my Saturday evening guilty pleasure activity, it looks like not many of you were as interested as me in seeing the Glee 3D Concert movie, which is supposedly playing for
only 2 weeks. Babs, my sister and I were 3 out of only 10 people in the theater. I won’t hold it against you, though, because it isn’t nearly as cool as seeing the concert live in the flesh (they filmed the 3D movie during one of the New Jersey concerts; sadly, not the one I attended). They had some touching ‘underdog’ storylines rolling between songs, but it really was a concert movie, and it’s just not all that fun to sit still and watch a concert, even on the big screen in 3D.
The best part of the concert (aside from any moment featuring Blaine [Darren Criss]) was Brittany (Heather Morris) performing Britney Spears‘ “I’m a Slave 4 U.” That girl can dance! (Sorry, I couldn’t find any quality concert clips of this on YouTube.) Mercedes (Amber Riley) singing one of my favorite Aretha songs (“Ain’t No Way”) was goosebump-inducing, too. Those kids are nauseatingly talented. Can’t wait for Season 3 of “Glee” (airs Wednesday, Sep. 21st on FOX)!
On Sunday, all the rain that was ever in the sky decided to fall at once, giving me the perfect excuse to stay inside and do nothing (though it did put a damper on previous ‘mini swim party’ plans I was looking forward to). If drinking vodka tonics and watching reruns of my new favorite show, “Millionaire Matchmaker“, counts as nothing, that is. And I kind of like to think of it as conducting research for you fine people. I may write a post dedicated to this startlingly amazing show, but in the meantime, tune into Bravo since they’re airing marathons practically ’round the clock. If you hate the matchmaker (Patti Stanger) for the first 5 minutes, beware. So did I.
As you might recall, one of Uncle Jesse’s first tricks was, “Watch the hair, huh!” (An homage to his Full House namesake.) My jaw-droppingly expensive multi-generational Australian Labradoodle was 9-10 weeks old when he mastered this delightful ditty, immediately justifying his price tag.
Since then, I’ve come up with all kinds of ways to amuse myself at his expense. Mostly in the form of nicknames, which change on at least a biweekly basis*. (Current nickname: Schnoodle. Because he looks like a noodle, it rhymes with poodle, and he’s just so darn…schnoodly. Don’t you think?)
We also call him a ‘man’ instead of a ‘boy’. He’s a good man. A smart man. “Come here,
man.” Along with his name, it tends to confuse people, so we keep doing it.
I also like replacing dog-related phrases and commands with things that are ticklier to my fancy. “Fetch,” for example, has become an appreciative, “Thank you.” As in, “Thank you in advance for bringing me that toy. It was so very kind of you.” Works like a charm.
My favorite canine comic relief comes from what we say instead of, “Wanna go for a walk?” Instead we simply shout, with appropriate fervor, “Holy shit!” No explanation necessary. Just watch:
*P.S. – For the record, yes, he does answer to “Uncle Jesse”. No one ever believes me!
P.P.S. – We plan on dressing him up as a wedge of cheese this Halloween. Get it? A Cheese DOODLE! Also works for an Uncle Sam costume: A Yankee DOODLE!
Go Jules Go 