Family Ties, humor

You’ve Got Mail! I Think. I Don’t Know. This Is Your Mother. Are You Seeing This?

I'm sure you remember Jenn.
Obviously you remember Jenn.

You know you’ve got the perfect best friend when she not only emails you blog ideas, but good blog ideas – and the makings of your next post!

Like all of us, my BFF, Jenn, was inspired by my mom, Babs, and Babs’ recent emails re: dead deer and faceless Cabbage Patch dolls.

This week, Jenn forwarded an email from her mom, and trust me, there’s more where this came from.

To: Jenn (a.k.a. “Butter”…because, well, Jenn won’t tell me why)

From: Jenn’s Mom (a.k.a. “Moth”)

Butter: I  understand you sent a reply to my last email, but someone (I won’t say who) Managed to delete it—-I’m sorry, could you please forward it again–thanks!!!Not only does someone (I won’t say who) read my emails, but deletes them (unintentionally), I’ m sure!!!!”Retirement in winter “—–leaves a lot of time on someone’s hands, while your mother is at your grandmother’s cleaning her apartment…..Hope you’re having a good day Butter !!!!I pray to the dear Lord for winter strength-(-till someone has more to do )…….THANKS—–Hugs

And a few minutes later:

No need to send it again sweetheart, just found it in “trash” …..

Thanks, Moth

Got any emails from your old lady you’d like to share? Jenn and I think there could be a new blog feature here. Send them to:!


***BONUS BACON-FILLED POST: Rachel’s Table is showcasing mspicy turkey meatloaf recipe today! I know. All this [facial hairand I can cook. I figured I needed a fall-back plan in case my Glee audition doesn’t pan out. Oh, also? If you’re not subscribing to Rachel’s Table, you just made a baby chipmunk cry.***

39 thoughts on “You’ve Got Mail! I Think. I Don’t Know. This Is Your Mother. Are You Seeing This?”


  2. Not only does my 60 y/o mother not use the computer for fear of breaking the internet she refuses to invest in Caller ID claiming it takes the fun out of answering the phone. Who uses a phone to talk? I thought it was a mini tablet. You know to read blogs oh. {Sheesh foogies}. ~ Dee

  3. Please don’t mention the M word around me right now. I had to deal with mine the last two days on a special unplanned trip, and I am just now decompressing. Plus, she doesn’t send fun emails at all. She lacks the sarcasm and humor genes that others in my family posess, so the only time she is humorous is unintentional, and then it’s in a sad, ashes on an ass shirt kinda way.

    But yes, more emails from actual FUNNY moms, please.

    Oh, and I saw Rachel’s post. Non-crispy bacon should be a crime! And for shame that it’s from another Misty. For shame. 😉

    1. Oh no. You poor thing. I have just the thing to cure what ails you, and it rhymes with schmunch with Schmachel and Schmules. (One more week!!) We may even stop joking about mushrooms if it’ll help. (Okay that’s asking a lot.)

  4. I think my family has a shameful lack of nicknames.

    I worked with a guy called “Butter” once at a brewpub. He was a big guy. One morning we’re prepping to open (so I’m still really tired) and he’s got an empty coffee cup and a pan in which he’s melting butter. “Oh God,” I thought. “He’s going to drink that. That’s why they call him Butter…”

    It made sense in my head at the time.

    Turns out, no, he was preparing to sautee, hadn’t got his coffee yet, and used to play baseball (and “pitched smooth as butter”)

    1. You mean you don’t make everyone call you B Man?

      I think that’s completely fair. And hilarious. If that had been Babs, that would have actually happened. She will eat butter with a spoon. I love butter, but no. Just… no.

  5. My mom never sends emails. Neither does my mom-in-law. But a blog filled with weird mom emails would finally make my life complete. Dooo eeeet. I do have a Facebook wall post story though. After my son posted a photo of himself eating a banana, my MIL wrote, ‘You liking bananas now huh. Yippeee!!’ This phrase has become our family go-to phrase for filling any awkward silence. YOULIKINGBANANASNOWHUHYIPPIE!!!

    1. I have to confess I’m kind of cheating here, because there’s a great website,, that does exactly that (posts emails and texts from people’s moms). But then, they don’t have emails from Babs and Moth, so, there’s room for improvement.

      That is amazing. I’m going to shout that every time I get uncomfortable from now on. Because I’m sure that won’t make things more awkward.

  6. My mom, god love her, doesn’t read my blog nor would she even if she had a computer! My brother shows it to her once in a while. She like the New York post best because of my “fly on the wall” graphics!

  7. Someone (I won’t say who) loves her moth. Thanks for sharing her with the bloggy world, Jules. Signed, I can’t believe it’s Butter

  8. My mom doesn’t do email (she’s 89) – but when I visit, she shows me everything she bought since my visit the prior week. “Look at this nice ham,” she says. And I say, “That’s a really good looking ham.”
    I can just imagine the emails…..

  9. You and Jenn are right about a feature. I am going to try to get some emails out of my mom now. Wait, do texts count? She send some pretty great texts.

    Also, thank you for guest posting! Bacon really brings people together.

  10. I am sooooooo glad my mother does not have internet, a pc, or know how to turn one on. We do NOT get along and I can just imagine the emails. *shudder*

    1. And imagine if she was on Facebook! I think that’s where things get REALLY hairy when it comes to dicey family dynamics. I love going to gatherings where people are like, “You didn’t know that?! It was on Facebook!” I mean, people share REALLY personal, medical health updates that way now. That is THE way. I’m still not used to it.

      P.S. – Did you change your gravatar? I really like it! Your eyes are so blue – beautiful!

      1. thank you much. no I didn’t change my avatar, but thanks! Oh man, just thinking of my mom on facebook makes me want to run away someplace far far away! I never get used to what people share with virtual strangers on facebook.

  11. Great blog idea! My favorite parent email phenomenon is the overuse of punctuation. You’d think it would be a problem for teens, not the middle-aged.

    I’ve started saving some of the texts I get from my parents for future blog use. Why put all this effort into writing when they can practically do it for me?

  12. My MIL uses the subject line “A note from [her name]” every single time. There’s no way to triage the emails into: actual questions that need to be answered vs. forwarded pictures of baby animals vs. forwarded political rants.

    Well, there is ONE exception.
    I did find one with the subject “An urgent note from [her name]” which consisted of:

    I need everyones Legal Names & Birthdates. I have it on my
    computer and in my head. Neither are working right now. ASAP,
    PLEASE. Thanks & Hugs

    The answer is “LOVE”.

  13. I must know this story behind ‘Butter’.

    My mom can barely handle using her TV remote, so no. No emails coming from her anytime soon. Too bad, really.

    And you have a meatloaf recipe? that involves bacon? See what I’ve missed sitting here on my aching ass all week?? Oh, the humanity.

    1. Hey! You, me and Ang are 3-in-a-row commenters on Jules blog. It’s like we’re standing next to one another in line after recess. I think that signifies something, but I don’t know what.

  14. I can’t believe I missed this! My dad thinks that amazing new invention, the “email,” is a vehicle that may only be used to forward humorous cartoons, warnings about how online hackers are trying to steal your identity (this is a TRUE threat that you should send to everyone you love) and little ditties on how President Obama is ruining the country. Each email has a tail of forwarded email addresses longer than Hailey’s comet.

    My mom doesn’t email.

    I was going to do a post about this, but they sometimes read my stuff and I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

    1. Hey! You, me and Darla are 3-in-a-row, late commenters here. It’s like we’re on a 3-man relay team of clever comments. That means you have to bring home the gold, Ang. USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

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