Today things get ugly. As ugly as your babies. I kid, I kid.
Grab your boxing gloves, Chipmunks, because Don, of don of all trades, and I are going head-to-head over:
Dogs vs. Babies
We each get up to ten points to make our case. Don may be a father, lawyer and cop, but totally lets me boss him around little does this man-of-allegedly-every-occupation know, I have experience in blog debates. Many moons ago, Third Husband proposed we discuss the merits (or lack thereof) of Glee, and I think we can all agree that after taking a slushie to the face, I emerged the clear victor.
I’m a little scared to read Don’s opposing argument, though. Not because I’m worried about valid points, god no, but because he’s a shamelessly verbose, terrible person with zero filter; there’s no telling where he’ll take this. He’s already cursed and posted fake sonogram pictures on my Facebook wall, sending both my mother and mother-in-law into a frenzy:
So, Don. As much as I like to play dirty, get your mind out of the gutter and grab the leash (that one’s just killing you, isn’t it?). By the time you’re through reading this, you’ll be ready to trade your ten thousand sticky offspring for a downy-soft ‘doodle.
Why Dogs Doodles Are Better Than Babies
1. They sleep a lot.
2. They’re not smart enough for college (can you spell S-A-V-I-N-G-S?).
3. They don’t bug you when you’re hungover sick.
4. They understand Full House quotes at 10 weeks old.
5. You get to pick the cartoons / car music.
6. No back talk.
7. Chick / Hunk magnet.
8. As long as you feed them regularly, they don’t judge your alcohol dependency.
9. You get to pick their halloween costumes. Indefinitely.
10. You don’t have to deal with other dogs’ parents if you don’t want to.
Note how I kept this nice and short, for your reading pleasure. Because I care about you, and respect your time, Debate Decision-makers. Unlike some people.
I look forward to hearing how right I am. (In case you missed it, here’s the link to Don’s inferior opposing argument.)
Did I miss any reasons why dogs are better than rug rats?
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