I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me until yesterday morning to blog on Valentine’s Day.
What’s more of a guilty pleasure than an over-hyped, commercialized, pink-frosted holiday?!
C’mon.
Chocolate.
Flowers.
Stuffed animals (dressed as other animals).
Love.
Duh!
So, will you be my (guilty pleasure) Valentine?
Hmm. You’re not convinced. Tell you what. If you don’t feel like the ooey, gooey, warm and fuzzy Sir Schmoopie Bear of Snuggleton to my Madame Chocolate Bon-Bon of Cuddlesworth by the time you’re through reading this post, I will eat my weight in candy hearts (and everyone knows candy hearts blow).
Yo yo yo flying squirrels chipmunks! I have an exceptional bundle of GoGuiltyPleasures slap bracelet pics for you today! You are VERY welcome.
If you missed the first and second installments, they too are worth your time, in my completely conceited and biased opinion. Renée from Lessons from Teachers and Twits also just incorporated her slap bracelets into this dazzling post.
Continuing on in the order in which these pictures were received, here we go!!!
It would really, REALLY help you to know something before I post Katy’s pictures, and I’m soooo tempted to keep it to myself.
Hmmm.
Okay. I give.
Katy teaches at a nursing college, and should earn many high-falutin’ credentials after her name just for her creativity in the following pictures. Oh, and, if you don’t already know: her blog is delightful, with smatterings of (humorous) poetry and recipes! What more could a guilty pleasure blogger ask for?
I put the slap bracelet to use on my drinking utensils…
…on a mannequin…
He's no dummy; he's got the hottest accessory!
…on a poster for the nursing students (about ID bracelets)…
…on an IV…
Give the patient 1 liter of guilty pleasure IV - STAT!
… Then I took it home where Shelby modeled it (reluctantly) on her ankle and on her tail, and drooled when I put it around her favorite guilty pleasure – Milkbones…
…Finally, I slipped it on my husband’s (Sweet Cheeks) skinny little ankle and snapped a picture before he could figure out what was going on…
Deb is a very special person, choosing to focus on positivity and gratitude even in the darkest moments. She manages to make everyone feel divine with each heart-warming comment and every beautifully moving post. She is an accomplished writer (check out “The Monster’s Daughter“!) and a Buffy fan. What more do you need to know?
Oh, speaking of Buffy, she totally kicked chipmunk tail in my first video blogging contest with a hilarious video about Buffy, earning this super-duper homemade prize. (I have to mention that post every chance I get because I love it, and Deb, so much.)
Deb’s been keeping me up-to-date on all of the slap bracelet goings-on in her home, which center around her adorable toddler, Li’l D. Just look:
Guilty Pleasure Power - ACTIVATE!!!
While Li’l D was flexing his muscles, someone else was snuggling his My Little Pony…
I heard from Sandy for the first time about a month ago, requesting a slap bracelet. She said she’d stumbled across my blog, and I like to think it was via one of the following search engine terms (yes, these are real search terms that led people to my blog):
chipmunk sexy humor
farting for pleasure
diet with pop tarts
strippers covered in ketchup
how do i shape my eye brows like ryan philippe
I’ve been having lots of fun reading Sandy’s blog, because she shares personal anecdotes that are as endearing as they are amusing. She is also the first person I know who actually does those INSANITY and P90X work-out videos. So be nice to her; she may be made entirely of muscle and the forgotten dreams of [P90X’s] Tony Horton, who clearly was never held as a child.
My, the pink against pristine white really raises the bar, Winston.Just when I thought it couldn't get more stunning than Winston!
I found Cappy a while back through one of my favorite bloggers, Girl on the Contrary. There’s definitely a common theme between these two gorgeous gals, and that theme is hilarity. She’s the perfect blend of silly and sarcastic. Every post of Cappy’s makes me burst out laughing, and I’m SO excited that she’s come over to the dark light side.
It's Kung Fu Pooh and Drunken Piglet! ...That sounds like a Chinese food dish I kind of want to try.
Thank you Katy, Deb, Sandy and Cappy! Consider yourselves cordially invited to the Chipmunk Ball.
You STILL don’t have a slap bracelet to call your own? Stop your tears -and mine- by emailing me at JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com!
Ohhhh myyyyyy goodnesssss. That’s how I feel right now, Chipper Chipmunks. Like Kristen Wiig in one of those surprise party skits on Saturday Night Live.
I can’t even stand it.
For anyone stumbling across this blog for the first time, what you’re about to see are some pictures of my adoring fans beloved readers wearing GoGuiltyPleasure slap bracelets. I’m posting the pictures in installments (here’s the first round), based on when they were received.
These photos are going to blow your mind. There’s a bulldog, CHIPMUNKS, an adorable child AND…a big reveal!!! Holy stromboli. I hope you’re sitting down.
#1 – Meet Mickey!
You hear me talk about my bestie, Jenn, now and then, but you’ve never heard about Jenn’s brother’s dog, Mickey, which is a real shame. Mickey knows all about how to embrace the guilty pleasure-ful life. For starters, he dines on gourmet meals and usually gets the best seat in the house. (Sounds like another dog I know…) You’re my hero, Mickey!
He is wearing a BLONDE WIG! In my honor!This is bad(a*s) to the BONE!If you don't think this is amazing, I feel sorry for you.
I know I just said my best friend’s name is Jenn, but The Byronic Man and I are totally B.F.F.s too. It might be that we get along so well because I know where he lives and he has to be nice to me, or maybe it’s simply because he’s just so g.d. hilarious. If you haven’t read his recent post written from the perspective of Gary the bee, stop right now and as soon as you’re done reading MY blog, click here.
Now, if you have been following The Byronic Man’s blog, you know his gravatar (profile image) and blog header photos are mysterious, showing only half of his face. Well, Byronic Man has GIVEN ME PERMISSION to post his ENTIRE, CRACKERJACK KISSER in one slap bracelet photo, and it is QUITE scandalous.
Darla rules my guilty pleasure school. Her blog posts are thoughtful, funny and beautifully written. Darla is also incredibly supportive of her fellow bloggers; back in October, she got my video blogging contest off the ground, and by vlogging about Reese’s peanut butter cups and Golden Girls, she proved that she is the most chipmunky of chipmunks.
Speaking of chipmunks…I’m so excited to share Darla’s ADORABLY AWESOME photos (and captions!)!
I searched high and low for the slap bracelets and was startled to come upon this scene:
Apparently, even those crazy spastic helium-sucking Chipmunks can rock Julie’s fab bracelets:
Looks like wholesome Chipmunk fun...aside from the fact that poor Theodore has been blindfolded and Britney has apparently broken her neck...I managed to steal the bracelets away long enough to put them to good use…Nothing says “Good mornin’! Now wake the hell up!” than coffee, The Beatles and Go Guilty Pleasures!They also make a fantastic baby bottle warmer!Need the latest in fashionable binoculars? Or a trendy way to watch the opera? Look no further than Julie’s versatile slap bracelets!
THANK YOU Jenn (and Jen and Mickey!), Byronic Man and Darla! You can now let your loved ones know you have achieved the coveted Cherub Chipmunk status.
Stay tuned for the next installment!
If you’d like one of these (FREE!) psychedelic wonders, your wish is my command! Email me at JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com!
I’ll be honest. I sensed in my heart of hearts that chipmunks young and old, or in that strange in-between age where you know you should stop making PowerPoint presentations about a certain “Glee” cast member but you just can’t seem to help yourself, and you genuinely wonder if maybe you never really embraced your childhood and you’re a victim of this unstoppable regression and pretty soon you’re going to start sucking your thumb and eating cake while smearing icing all over your face because you think it’ll get a laugh…wait….what was I saying? Oh, right: I knew bringing back slap bracelets was a shoo-in.
So I wasn’t surprised to hear from many of you once I announced my slap bracelet giveaway. After shipping out several dozen, I waited patiently for you to hold up your end of the deal – to send me a picture of you/your loved ones/pets wearing the slap bracelet(s) so I could post it on this very blog.
I was not disappointed. The pictures I’ve gotten so far are…well, you’ll see. I’m going to share the photos in installments, to ensure that you, and your blogs (where applicable), receive the adoration they deserve. To be fair, I’m posting them in the order in which they were received.
After you see this picture, I don’t think I’ll have to say much else to convince you Renee is a true guinea pig chipmunk, but you should also know that Renee is co-author of “Saving the Best for Last” and “Invisible No More,” which you can learn more about here. Not only is she an accomplished writer, but she is funny as all get-out, and much like slap bracelets, her humor transcends age.
Meet Reesees. (Renee was guinea pig-sitting over the holidays!)
I first spotted Peg commenting on The Good Greatsby‘s blog; she was always coming up with captions for his caption contest that were better than mine, as evidenced by her constant ‘winner’ and ‘runner-up’ status. It took me a little while to shove my ego aside and drink the Peg-o-Leg Kool-Aid. After witnessing a lively, and hilarious, competition between Darla and Peg over said caption contest, I poured myself a nice, tall glass. Peg’s blog always makes me laugh out loud. She really understands the power of illustrating a joke, which you need to see for yourself.
Here’s the message that Peg sent along with these fab pictures. Bottoms up!:
The slap bracelets arrived, and were a GODsend over the New Year’s holiday. Here are just some of the things that happened because of them.
1) My normally feeble morning coffee was definitely more robust and richer tasting when I was wearing the bracelet.
2) Its secret powers inbued me with the strength of will needed to tackle the dreaded post-Christmas task of tree put-awaying.
3) When my GPS went out on the highway, the magnetized core of the slap bracelet drew my hand to true north, thereby allowing me to make it to my destination safely.
4) No less than 3 college-age hipsters fought for the privilege of wearing the uber-cool slap bracelets of style.
5) As for my cat, Beeby, well…I won’t lie. She didn’t like them. Her response was something like “get this torture device off me, you sadist!”
So except for Beeby, it was all good. Thank you for saving New Years for the entire Peg-o-leg family!
I am new to Thoughtsy’s blog, but I can tell you right now I am falling in love. For one thing, she currently has a picture of a kitten inside a box of Pop Tarts on her Facebook widget; for another, one of her recent posts was dedicated to dessert-flavored vodka. I am really excited to learn about what else we have in common, and to find out more about her relationship with Kiefer Sutherland.
Thank you SO much, Renee, Peg and Thoughtsy! You have officially been upgraded to Chief Chipmunk status.
And believe me when I say – you are NOT going to want to miss the next installment(s)!
I still have more slap bracelets, so stop schmooping around and email me at JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com!
Okay. Maybe not sexiest. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. (I’m a guilty pleasure blogger. I don’t judge.)
As you might recall, Uncle Jesse, our [not quite] 2-year-old Australian Labradoodle, had his first photo shoot last month, and the 130+ pictures arrived on Christmas Eve! Thanks, Jenn and Joseph Frazz Photography!
Are you ready for this, celebratory chipmunks?! These were taken in our yard, and yes, we have a giant flag painted on a board on the back fence, courtesy of the original homeowners. (We’re thinking of adding flags from around the world, whaddya think?)
Prepare yourselves for hunk-itude:
And my personal favorite:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How are you celebrating (besides putting your supermodel dog in a gold bow tie? Oh wait, is that just me?)? Any resolutions?
Cheery chipmunks, I got my Christmas tree this weekend! Huzzah!
We went to one of the three Christmas tree farms near our house in western Jersey; this one was a self-serve farm, so we made good use of our chainsaw and lived to tell the tale got an amazing deal.
Peppermeister putting on his best Grinch face.
I busted out my favorite Christmas CD, John Denver and the Muppets, while I decorated (a long-honored tradition).
Of course, no tree of mine is complete without animals dressed as other animals.
"F my life."
And animals dressed as food:
"Eat me."
Or homemade ornaments featuring Uncle Jesse in his Christmas sweater:
"My mother needs a hobby."
And there was only one casualty.
Ah well. This one was kind of ugly anyway.
Even Uncle Jesse got in on the fun.
Have a very doodle-y Christmas!
To see what else I was up to this weekend, check out these cookies (more on this new site later)!
Once upon a time, Mother Nature had a stroke and decided New Jersey was getting off too easy. Sure, sure, there’s tolls on the highways and you can’t bring beer on the beach, but…no scorpions! So, she threw us a heaping scoop of hurricane with a sprinkling of tornado. Nah, she thought, still not cutting it. I know!Earthquake! That seemed to satisfy her for a while, but when October 29th rolled around, she was restless again.
Mother Nature decided she’d start with a smattering of snow. Odd, I thought, but pretty.
Who doesn't like a Christmas tree farm dusted with snow?
Then…BAM!
FULL-ON SNOW STORM!
By the way, that ‘bam’ was the sound of every tree in New Jersey falling on every power line. As the most densely populated state in the U.S., that’s a lot of power lines. The snow was too heavy and the leaves too plentiful; giant branches bowed and then broke.
We weren’t anticipating a true storm (there’s no storm like it on record [for October] since the Civil War), so when it really started coming down and we lost power at 1 o’clock last Saturday afternoon, we headed out in search of a generator and bottled water (we have a well that doesn’t work when we lose power).
We encountered 5 power lines down in under an hour...which is how long it took us to go 6 miles.
We got the last generator, and it was enough to power the fridge. Not the heat or the water. So we waited in the dark. And waited and waited. We blanched at the news that 95% of New Jersey Central Power and Light’s customers would have power restored by the following Thursday, the remaining 5% on Friday. By Thursday?! That was 6 full days away! We had needs! …Like showering for work.
Guess who was in the 5%? Yup. That’s right. 7 days of flushing the toilet with melted snow and creek water later…
I’M BACK!
Of course, I have to return with a bang, so for your viewing pleasure…
Uncle Jesse in costume!!!
I'm not sure he grasps what a privilege it is to be a chipmunk.
There are many like-minded souls out there, which fills my guilty pleasure heart to the brim. For example, I discovered via Twitter that last Halloween Second Husband bought a squirrel costume from Target for his brother’s dog:
He's carrying an acorn! OMG. (Click on picture for photo credit, but only if you dare.)
Annnnnd this is why Second Husband is about to get upgraded to Soul Mate status. I mean, a squirrel is almost a chipmunk. Does anyone else see interwoven destiny here? …No? Pssh. See if I try to pawn off my leftover candy corn on you this year.
I don’t know, guys. I mean, chipmunks. You’re probably thinking there’s not much I could do to top my last post.
WRONG!
Check out the guest post interview (click here) I did for JM Randolph’s (Accidental Stepmom) AWESOME weekly feature, Full-Assed Friday. I interviewed my good kick-butt friend, Jenn, about her work at the New Jersey-based animal shelter, 11th Hour Rescue. Don’t think I can make that topic funny? Ha! Wrong again!
Cheeky chipmunks, my video blogging contest ends today (October 22, midnight EST)!! You have about 14 hours to enter your 30-second video. By my calculations, this means you could do 8 billion (maybe slightly less) takes and still have time to qualify for the WORLD’S BEST PRIZE! You don’t want to miss out. Just ask Sprinkles.
In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying a lovely, relaxing Saturday with my two besties (b-day celebration in the hiz-ouse!), Uncle Jesse, Peppermeister annnnnd….a puppy!!!
My chipmunkalicious friend, Jenn, volunteers for 11th Hour Rescue, and is currently providing a foster home for a lil’ pitbull named Kelly.
Here’s Kelly. Get ready for an aww-attack.
Hi! I'm Kelly. You know you love me.Imma show Uncle Jesse who's boss....Unless I get too sleepy.
Chipmunk-a-doos, this is your friendly, WordPressure-freefilled reminder that the Best. Video. Blogging. Contest. EVER!!! ends one week from today, on Saturday, October 22nd.
You don’t want to miss this opportunity to win a STUPENDOUS prize! Just ask Darla. Or Deb. Or Renée. Or Leonore. Or JM. (I’m talking to you, Sprinkles. And you, GotC. And you, Byron. And you, Tink. And YOU!!!)
Now come on, get on the rock (yeah, you’ve gotta watch the vid for that to make sense)!
Go Jules Go 