Chipmunk-a-doos, this is your friendly, WordPressure-freefilled reminder that the Best. Video. Blogging. Contest. EVER!!! ends one week from today, on Saturday, October 22nd.
You don’t want to miss this opportunity to win a STUPENDOUS prize! Just ask Darla. Or Deb. Or Renée. Or Leonore. Or JM. (I’m talking to you, Sprinkles. And you, GotC. And you, Byron. And you, Tink. And YOU!!!)
Now come on, get on the rock (yeah, you’ve gotta watch the vid for that to make sense)!
People who know me personally often refer to me as their fashion guru. People who know me via this blog have been blown away by my sultry romance novel book covers. By and large, the world outside my bedroom considers me one of the great style icons of our time.
Wal-Mart didn't even see this coming.
However, inside my bedroom, more specifically, my closet, there are some shameful guilty pleasure secrets.
My wrinkly t-shirt collection.
#1 – Julie Davidoski Cullen
Here's the first fictional high school (from Twilight) I pretend to attend. (Actually, this high school exists, but you know what I mean.)
#2 – Julie van der Geek
Annnd the second fictional high school I pretend to attend. This one is located right near Dawson's Creek.
#3 – Julie Timberfake
Yeah. I was totally part of the local crew for the 2000 'NSync World Tour. ...Not.
#4 – Julie “Team Lame” Davidoski
Tribute to the Jimmy Fallon Twilight/Robert Pattinson skit, Robert is Bothered. (The back says, "Team Fallon.") You don't even want to know how excited I was to get this last Christmas.
#5 – Julie TwiLies
For gym class at the Twilight high school. Oh. The Shame.
Not long ago, I added “Go Guilty Pleasures” to my blog banner in scandalously cursive, deliciously red text. I constantly occasionally amuse myself imagining people getting caught by their spouses/significant others/cats reading my blog on their lap tops, in the dark.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: What is that?
You: N-nothing. Slams lap top shut.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: No, no. I saw some girl and the words “guilty pleasures.”
You (laughing nervously): Ohh. It’s just a blog I like to read sometimes.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: Is that code for… never mind. I don’t even want to know. Walks away.
It also makes me think about my first romance novel book cover. I mean, the one I imagine being on after I’m done picturing you getting busted for reading my blog in the dark.
It looks at lot like this:
"I swear I felt a bobby pin in there somewhere. No?"
What would your smutty romance novel book cover look like? …If that question makes you uncomfortable (and it really should), here’s an alternate: how often do you read my blog before you go to bed?
Lofty post title, if I do say so myself. But it’s only fitting for one who has Merriam-Webster on speed dial. They’re currently reviewing my latest submission, and I have high hopes:
WordPressure (verb) – to peer pressure people who read your [Wordpress] blog into doing something they might otherwise never consider. (Though they should. Because you’ve given them a chance to win a truly spectacular prize, which you would gladly award yourself, but think it’s finally time someone else feel the amazing glow of victory.)
That, ‘munks (as in chipmunks), is WordPressure. WordPressure reminds me of another knock-your-flaming-socks-off kind of pressure* (annnnnd that’s how it relates, in case this post title was still bothering you):
If you see this guy, RUN.
Spontaneous Combustion.
Much like guillotines, this is one of my more…eccentric…guilty pleasures. (I blame Buffy. I’m sure you remember that dance-til-you-die episode.) Rumor has it, this week, a man in Ireland died of spontaneous combustion.
Do you buy it? Or are you too busy thinking about your own weird guilty pleasure (ya’ll better DIVULGE!)?
*And by pressure, apparently I mean: a buildup of static electricity inside the body or from an external geomagnetic force exerted on the body (thanks, science.howstuffworks.com).
Starting right here, right now, courtesy of goguiltypleasures.com!
The Rules
#1 – Tell everyone who you are, why we should care, and what your silliest guilty pleasure is.
#2 – Incorporate my favorite word: heinous.
#3 – Oh yeah, you only have 30 seconds. (Because every game is funnier when the clock is ticking.)
The Prize
It’s a surprise. I don’t want to alarm you, but let’s just say my pumpkin-carving skills rival my vlogging creativity.
Now, let’s kick this shizzle up to the next level and get started! And yes, this is my FIRST. EVER. VLOG!
YOUR TURN! (If you’d like to participate, but don’t have a blog or don’t want to post on your blog, feel free to submit videos on YouTube or directly to me at: JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com.)
DEADLINE: Pumpkin Season (a.k.a. October 22, 2011). …The contest might be over, but you can check out the winner and the AWESOME prize here!
Alvin, Theodore, Simon. All my awesome little chipmunks. I don’t even know where to begin.
Since my last post, so many amazing things have happened. I think it’s because the guilty pleasure gods finally realized they have wi-fi, and have subsequently read my blog, and are letting me know they’ve heard me.
I know. My, I mean the gods', best work yet.
(SPOILER ALERT IF YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE “GLEE” PREMIERE YET! BUT SERIOUSLY. GET ON THAT SHIZ!)
PROOF #2. The Good Greatsby imparted his timeless words of wisdom upon me today.
I plan on putting his advice into action immediately. You can check out the post here.
PROOF #3. I discovered a wickedly funny blog recently: Not Quite Old.
If you haven’t already read Nancy’s blog, head on over now! She was just given a Versatile Blogger Award, but I think she is better suited for the Wear-A-Diaper-Before-You-Read-This-Cause-It’s-That-Funny Blogger Award (though she certainly does show versatility in the subject matter she manages to turn into comedy gold – who knew orphans could be so chuckle-worthy?). In that way we are strikingly similar.
That’s all for now. Don’t forget to say your prayers tonight*.
*I should explain. The guilty pleasure gods are not all about genuflections and formality, if you catch my drift. They prefer you pass out on the couch after eating too many E.L. Fudge cookies, and you really, really need to make sure you leave the TV on. Well, I mean, only if you want to show your true devotion, that is.
I was just scrolling through my Facebook wall (which usually only results in me feeling like a terrible friend/daughter/sister/wife/person…seriously, who can keep track of all this shiz?), and I saw a reminder that 90210 is coming back tomorrow! (Aren’t we so glad they’re actually premiering stuff in early[ish] September again? That October nonsense had to go.)
I don’t know why I love this show as much as I do. It doesn’t make any sense, except that I fell in love with the original series when I was 9, and I guess that did something to me. Actually, it explains a lot.
Has Annie dealt with the demons of her drunk-driving past? Has Dixon finally moved on from his you’re-carrying-my-baby-just-kidding ex-girlfriend? Will Silver go off her meds again? So many questions, so little time. I can’t wait.
Scrolling forward on my DVR, I had the purest, most beautiful-est GOGP moment of all time.
This almost replaces vodka. Almost.
Oh yes, chipmunks. It. Is. ON.
What show(s) are you frothing at the mouth for?? Any new ones (tomorrow night is going to be a good one for me – Ms. Buffy herself comes back to the small screen in “Ringer“!)?
So, in the days since I posted that I had green hair from swimming, I’ve imagined that you’ve spent many sleepless nights wondering how I’ve coped with my follicle foible. (Have I ever told you alliterations are a gargantuan guilty pleasure for gojulesgo?)
Well, I gave Mr. Heinz another go, this time on dry hair for a longer period (almost a full hour), and that, combined with a fresh dose of Clairol’s finest, seems to have done the trick.
I’m so overjoyed. My emotions, coupled with the extreme guilty pleasure pride I take in being a bottled blonde, have led me to celebrate the only way I know how.
There are certain things people don’t usually share. Their salary, political beliefs, ‘magic number’, feelings on drugs and abortion, whether they really believe in God. I can appreciate this, but I’m about to show you something most people don’t usually divulge. That’s right. Here it comes…
My guilty pleasure resume!
It’s not so much a document detailing my experience as it is a photographic expression of my commitment to the lifestyle. Nevertheless, I’m available for hire for all your guilty pleasure gigs, big and small (please submit job descriptions, down payments, and pictures of animals dressed as other animals to gojulesgo@ialwaysknewidberich.com). Enjoy:
1.) I have a cabinet full of plastic Medieval Times cups at all times (keepsakes from my 27th birthday party that we use constantly):
I'd like to dedicate this toast to all the knights and wenches in the hiz-ouse.
2.) This is my Harry Potter wall calendar, hanging in the kitchen for all to admire:
Don't you hate the boring months like this? Who cares about these guys?
3.) A staple: vodka in the freezer. …’Scuse me, I’ll be right back…
If this doesn't make your mouth water...well, good. More for me.
4.) …Cheers. Here are all of the ingredients to make bonfire s’mores at any given moment:
Marshmallows + chocolate + graham crackers + fire = a g.d. good time, that's what.
5.) This is the light cover I made for my craft room. Yeah, that’s right, craft room (a.k.a. why my future children will be living in the shed):
Cheese-tastic.
6.) Here is my dog, Uncle Jesse’s, monogrammed L.L. Bean bed. I know I should be embarrassed, but I’m not. I’m proud. So proud. (I mean, c’mon. You’re allowed exactly 10 characters, including spaces. It was meant to be.)
The kind of happiness only money can buy.I know. I don't take him seriously either.
7.) This is the comment my husband just made:
“Do you wish your whole life was blogging? You wouldn’t have a blog if you didn’t have a life, though.”
…Oh, what’s that you say? You’re dying to see my craft room, especially the stripes I painted on the walls myself? Well, okay, if you insist. Here it is!
Guilty pleasure bubbykins, I know it’s been a few days since my last post, but get ready for me to make it up to you!! That’s right. Simply follow these 4 easy steps and you’ll be GOGP-ing in no time.
On Friday morning, thanks to a colleague, I discovered my Project Management Professional (PMP) certification test scores were higher than I thought. I wasn’t particularly keen on being called “moderately proficient” in all 6 test areas, but as it turns out, even scoring “below proficient” on some sections earns you a passing grade. Man. I don’t even know how I keep my head up with all these brains inside it.
On Friday I was also exposed to this brilliant GaGa performance, thanks to Hubster’s Howard Stern-listening ways:
Step #2: Throw caution (and your dog’s leash) to the wind and loudly sing Bruno Mars songs in the woods.
On Saturday morning, we welcomed a gloriously sunny, 80-degree day here in western New Jersey, so the fam went for a hike in the Round Valley reservoir area. Why is that a guilty pleasure, you ask? Because, aside from belting out “The Lazy Song“, we let the dog off his leash for the whole 4 miles (shhh)! Who’s a good boy? Uncle Jesse is, yes he is! Look at these little tree huggers:
I really hope my very first stalker sees this and uses it to figure out how to find me on a fair-weather weekend.
Step #3: Do anything that requires you to wear glasses like these:
Photo credit: istockanalyst.com
As for my Saturday evening guilty pleasure activity, it looks like not many of you were as interested as me in seeing the Glee 3D Concert movie, which is supposedly playing for
Work it, girl! (Photo credit: pansophiatree.tumblr.com)
only 2 weeks. Babs, my sister and I were 3 out of only 10 people in the theater. I won’t hold it against you, though, because it isn’t nearly as cool as seeing the concert live in the flesh (they filmed the 3D movie during one of the New Jersey concerts; sadly, not the one I attended). They had some touching ‘underdog’ storylines rolling between songs, but it really was a concert movie, and it’s just not all that fun to sit still and watch a concert, even on the big screen in 3D.
The best part of the concert (aside from any moment featuring Blaine [Darren Criss]) was Brittany (Heather Morris) performing Britney Spears‘ “I’m a Slave 4 U.” That girl can dance! (Sorry, I couldn’t find any quality concert clips of this on YouTube.) Mercedes (Amber Riley) singing one of my favorite Aretha songs (“Ain’t No Way”) was goosebump-inducing, too. Those kids are nauseatingly talented. Can’t wait for Season 3 of “Glee” (airs Wednesday, Sep. 21st on FOX)!
Step #4: Drink [heavily] and practice saying, “The pee-pee does the picking.”
On Sunday, all the rain that was ever in the sky decided to fall at once, giving me the perfect excuse to stay inside and do nothing (though it did put a damper on previous ‘mini swim party’ plans I was looking forward to). If drinking vodka tonics and watching reruns of my new favorite show, “Millionaire Matchmaker“, counts as nothing, that is. And I kind of like to think of it as conducting research for you fine people. I may write a post dedicated to this startlingly amazing show, but in the meantime, tune into Bravo since they’re airing marathons practically ’round the clock. If you hate the matchmaker (Patti Stanger) for the first 5 minutes, beware. So did I.
Go Jules Go 