Cheeky chipmunks, my video blogging contest ends today (October 22, midnight EST)!! You have about 14 hours to enter your 30-second video. By my calculations, this means you could do 8 billion (maybe slightly less) takes and still have time to qualify for the WORLD’S BEST PRIZE! You don’t want to miss out. Just ask Sprinkles.
In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying a lovely, relaxing Saturday with my two besties (b-day celebration in the hiz-ouse!), Uncle Jesse, Peppermeister annnnnd….a puppy!!!
My chipmunkalicious friend, Jenn, volunteers for 11th Hour Rescue, and is currently providing a foster home for a lil’ pitbull named Kelly.
Here’s Kelly. Get ready for an aww-attack.
Hi! I'm Kelly. You know you love me.Imma show Uncle Jesse who's boss....Unless I get too sleepy.
All right. Cut it out. That wasn’t the funny part.
I was recently interviewed for Girl on the Contrary’s “Interviews with Celebrities” feature, and she posted the interview today. Check it out here! But only if you like things like smiling, rainbows and music. Or if you’ve been dying to know my thoughts on Bret Michaels. Either or.
Harry Potter is a subject matter that, like Buffy, Glee or Twilight, I could discuss ad nauseam. Beyond reading the books each at least twice, I’ve watched ALL of the DVD special features. If you’ve done this yourself, you know Harry Potter special features trump them all. They’re very thorough, and it’s just so damn cool to see how they create this magical world. To think it all started in the mind of a lil’ writer named Jo! A lil’ writer like you. …Or me!
So, yes, I watched this Biography feature, fixated. I pondered very serious things: How did they know Emma Watson would grow up to be so pretty, and not taller than Daniel or Rupert? When my boss told me I reminded her of Luna Lovegood last Friday, what was the proper reaction?Peppermeister knew better than to interrupt. Until he couldn’t help himself and added his own deep thoughts.
“How much money does J.K. Rowling have?” He paused. “All of it?”
Well...she's brave. And she makes her own jewelry. That's...something.
If you were called a Harry Potter character, who would it be and why? (And what have you been geeking out on lately??)
People who know me personally often refer to me as their fashion guru. People who know me via this blog have been blown away by my sultry romance novel book covers. By and large, the world outside my bedroom considers me one of the great style icons of our time.
Wal-Mart didn't even see this coming.
However, inside my bedroom, more specifically, my closet, there are some shameful guilty pleasure secrets.
My wrinkly t-shirt collection.
#1 – Julie Davidoski Cullen
Here's the first fictional high school (from Twilight) I pretend to attend. (Actually, this high school exists, but you know what I mean.)
#2 – Julie van der Geek
Annnd the second fictional high school I pretend to attend. This one is located right near Dawson's Creek.
#3 – Julie Timberfake
Yeah. I was totally part of the local crew for the 2000 'NSync World Tour. ...Not.
#4 – Julie “Team Lame” Davidoski
Tribute to the Jimmy Fallon Twilight/Robert Pattinson skit, Robert is Bothered. (The back says, "Team Fallon.") You don't even want to know how excited I was to get this last Christmas.
#5 – Julie TwiLies
For gym class at the Twilight high school. Oh. The Shame.
Not long ago, I added “Go Guilty Pleasures” to my blog banner in scandalously cursive, deliciously red text. I constantly occasionally amuse myself imagining people getting caught by their spouses/significant others/cats reading my blog on their lap tops, in the dark.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: What is that?
You: N-nothing. Slams lap top shut.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: No, no. I saw some girl and the words “guilty pleasures.”
You (laughing nervously): Ohh. It’s just a blog I like to read sometimes.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: Is that code for… never mind. I don’t even want to know. Walks away.
It also makes me think about my first romance novel book cover. I mean, the one I imagine being on after I’m done picturing you getting busted for reading my blog in the dark.
It looks at lot like this:
"I swear I felt a bobby pin in there somewhere. No?"
What would your smutty romance novel book cover look like? …If that question makes you uncomfortable (and it really should), here’s an alternate: how often do you read my blog before you go to bed?
There are a lot of really compelling, totally unbiased reasons you should fall in love with my dog, Uncle Jesse (yes, that’s right, we named him after a “Full House” character, ’cause we’re cool like that).
For one thing, have you ever seen a grown, otherwise sassy and able-bodied dog eat lying down?
Did I mention he comes over and gives our feet/legs a lick of thanks every time he has a solid drink of water or a satisfying dose of kibs?
Uncle Jesse even looks pathetic-cute after rolling in disgusting things out-of-doors (and getting an immediate bath):
Have mercy for REALSIES.
If Uncle Jesse’s looks and eating habits haven’t won you over, perhaps his mind-control abilities will. When he has to go outside, he simply stands in front of you and stares.
If that doesn’t work, he gets closer.
And then…
Okay, still not smitten? Well, there’s one more test to see if your heart actually works. When I was a Hurricane Irene refugee at my parents’ house, Peppermeister and Uncle J put on this stunning performance:
Hi cutie-patootie critters! You’re probably gonna want to play this while you read:
There is definitely something in the air today. Fridays usually bring out a certain level of giddiness, it’s true, but today takes the [ooey, gooey, chocolate-filled, cream cheese icing-topped, chipmunk-decorated] cake.
And now, I leave you with a fact that’s never before wormed its way into this blog: Ten years ago (!!), I met The Peppermeister while working at a special needs elementary school. We plan to leverage our combined awesomeness expertise, and barn, into an enchanting special ed summer camp within the next year or two (for realsies). Anyhoo, “Shake Your Sillies Out” was the best song I learned in those two years working at the school. Maybe the best song I’ve ever learned, well, period. What’s your favorite silly song? (Doesn’t have to be a kid song. I’m sure you guys remember this one from Ace of Base.)
P.S. – Why, yes, yes I did actually shake my sillies out before posting this. So enthusiastically that I forgot I let the dog out (…crud, don’t tell Peppermeister).
Lofty post title, if I do say so myself. But it’s only fitting for one who has Merriam-Webster on speed dial. They’re currently reviewing my latest submission, and I have high hopes:
WordPressure (verb) – to peer pressure people who read your [Wordpress] blog into doing something they might otherwise never consider. (Though they should. Because you’ve given them a chance to win a truly spectacular prize, which you would gladly award yourself, but think it’s finally time someone else feel the amazing glow of victory.)
That, ‘munks (as in chipmunks), is WordPressure. WordPressure reminds me of another knock-your-flaming-socks-off kind of pressure* (annnnnd that’s how it relates, in case this post title was still bothering you):
If you see this guy, RUN.
Spontaneous Combustion.
Much like guillotines, this is one of my more…eccentric…guilty pleasures. (I blame Buffy. I’m sure you remember that dance-til-you-die episode.) Rumor has it, this week, a man in Ireland died of spontaneous combustion.
Do you buy it? Or are you too busy thinking about your own weird guilty pleasure (ya’ll better DIVULGE!)?
*And by pressure, apparently I mean: a buildup of static electricity inside the body or from an external geomagnetic force exerted on the body (thanks, science.howstuffworks.com).
Starting right here, right now, courtesy of goguiltypleasures.com!
The Rules
#1 – Tell everyone who you are, why we should care, and what your silliest guilty pleasure is.
#2 – Incorporate my favorite word: heinous.
#3 – Oh yeah, you only have 30 seconds. (Because every game is funnier when the clock is ticking.)
The Prize
It’s a surprise. I don’t want to alarm you, but let’s just say my pumpkin-carving skills rival my vlogging creativity.
Now, let’s kick this shizzle up to the next level and get started! And yes, this is my FIRST. EVER. VLOG!
YOUR TURN! (If you’d like to participate, but don’t have a blog or don’t want to post on your blog, feel free to submit videos on YouTube or directly to me at: JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com.)
DEADLINE: Pumpkin Season (a.k.a. October 22, 2011). …The contest might be over, but you can check out the winner and the AWESOME prize here!
Alvin, Theodore, Simon. All my awesome little chipmunks. I don’t even know where to begin.
Since my last post, so many amazing things have happened. I think it’s because the guilty pleasure gods finally realized they have wi-fi, and have subsequently read my blog, and are letting me know they’ve heard me.
I know. My, I mean the gods', best work yet.
(SPOILER ALERT IF YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE “GLEE” PREMIERE YET! BUT SERIOUSLY. GET ON THAT SHIZ!)
PROOF #2. The Good Greatsby imparted his timeless words of wisdom upon me today.
I plan on putting his advice into action immediately. You can check out the post here.
PROOF #3. I discovered a wickedly funny blog recently: Not Quite Old.
If you haven’t already read Nancy’s blog, head on over now! She was just given a Versatile Blogger Award, but I think she is better suited for the Wear-A-Diaper-Before-You-Read-This-Cause-It’s-That-Funny Blogger Award (though she certainly does show versatility in the subject matter she manages to turn into comedy gold – who knew orphans could be so chuckle-worthy?). In that way we are strikingly similar.
That’s all for now. Don’t forget to say your prayers tonight*.
*I should explain. The guilty pleasure gods are not all about genuflections and formality, if you catch my drift. They prefer you pass out on the couch after eating too many E.L. Fudge cookies, and you really, really need to make sure you leave the TV on. Well, I mean, only if you want to show your true devotion, that is.
Go Jules Go 