I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now, Vlogalicious

The (Power)Point Is… It’s Easy To Humiliate Your Friends

Chipmunks, I’ve never been one to hoard knowledge.

Especially when said knowledge can lead to embarrassment and/or blackmail and/or smugness.

Therefore, I give to you the following:

Any PowerPoint questions for me (or any tips to share?)? No? Any cross-dressing questions for The Byronic (Wo)Man? Don’t be shy.

Family Ties, PSAs, Vlogalicious

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet by Babs

Hey remember when you didn’t know how to fold a fitted sheet?

Listen up, Chipmunks. We’re about to put the fitted sheet issue to bed.

You heard me.

Buckle up and wipe off your ‘stache glasses, because my remarkable mother, Babs, is about to live up to her claims.

Just remember you loved me first.

Do you have any impossible questions for Babs?

P.S. – How great is Babs, and more importantly, how much do you think I could charge to rent her out?

Just For Fun, Lists, Vlogalicious

200 Posts Later and You’re Still Creeping Me Out

This is it.

My 200th Blog Post!

I started this blog in February 2011, but wanted to wait for a special occasion to share some of my favorite Google search engine terms. I’m talking about those unusual things you people type into Google late at night and think you’re stealth.

If that search led you to GoJulesGo.com, I know alllll about it.

I believe you were looking for this.

Consider yourselves busted, you sweet, sick, twisted li’l Chipmunks.

Keep up the good work. I live for this shiz.

Do you have any search engine/internet stories? (PG-13, mmmkay? My neighbors read this blog.)

P.S. – I promise to stop putting up posts now. Until next week.

Chipmunks Forever, Just For Fun, Uncategorized, Vlogalicious

And the Winner of the GoGuiltyPleasures Gift Basket Giveaway IS…

Happy birthday to ME, fuzzy wuzzie li’l chipmunks!

Oh wait. This isn’t about me. Right. The contest.

You did NOT make this easy.

Click play to watch me announce the winner (and runners-up)! Or you can be a total party-pooper and simply scroll down.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

GRAND PRIZE – Renée from Lessons from Teachers and Twits

Renée, please consider this your open invitation to guest post on my blog any time; I know the below submission is only the tip of your guilty pleasure iceberg.

Renée’s Entry:

Okay, you know I love to break into dance. But that’s the small stuff. Another guilty pleasure?

*whispering*

I sometimes sunbathe topless in my backyard.

And there is a middle school in my backyard.

True. You cannot make this stuff up. ;-)

If you’re feeling a little sore from Renée’s victory, perhaps this picture will help.

Zeal has never been happier.

After Renée submitted her scintillating entry, I tried to Google Earth her house*. Here’s what came up:

Can you tell which house is Renée's?

That’s right, Renée, all of this is YOURS! ALL YOURS!

*If you’re feeling stalky after seeing that bikini pic, please don’t waste your time haunting the above neighborhood. That isn’t where Renée lives. And duh. Just email me for her address.

RUNNER-UP #1 – Peg from Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings

Peg’s Entry:

My guilty pleasure might surprise you.  There’s nothing I like more than spending a quiet evening playing my favorite game:  Go Guilty Pleasures, the home edition.
~*~
First I obsessively click on your blog.  If I’ve left a comment, I see if you’ve responded to my comment.  Then I go click on the Recommended Humor Blogs WordPress page to see if I’m still on there.  Then back to your blog to see if anyone has responded either to my original comment or your response to my comment.  Back to the Humor page to see if anybody else I know is cycling through the list more often than me.  Back to your blog.  I leave a follow-up comment if necessary.  Then I rate all the other comments and compare their cleverness-quotient to my comment.  If anyone else’s score even approaches mine, I spend some time worrying about that.  Finish up with just one, teensy-weensy peek back at the Humor page (with my stopwatch to catalogue relative hang-times.)
~*~
Next comes the best part of the game.  I BECOME you.  I put on the Side Pony of Super Fun-ness.  I put my custom-crafted Uncle Jesse mask on my cat, Beeby (this part isn’t as easy as it might sound). I line up some champagne (actually Asti – I’m on a budget) and break out the bacon candy bars and Reeses for snacking.  I use mice instead of chipmunks as my life coaches because they’re a lot easier to catch around my house.  That may be why they don’t really give me any advice, no matter how many times I ask. But I pretend they do while I make funny, fun faces.  I get lots and lots of guilty pleasure from taking lots and lots of pictures of myself being blondly side-ponied and fun.  A lot.
~*~
Yup, for my family, there’s no more relaxing way to spend the evening than playing Go Guilty Pleasures.  As my hubby said to me just the other night,  “Why do you keep calling me Peppermeister?  Who the hell is that??”
~*~
Happy Birthday to us!!
I told Peg I was jealous of her side-pony, because it's longer than mine, and probably curls like a dream.

Peg – here’s your loot-for-a-hoot!

RUNNER-UP #2 – Erin from Catstache

Erin’s Entry:

I voted at that link you posted, posted to facebook (i’m not sure how i will prove this with my security settings) and my blog. I have twitter but don’t use it (that’s a story for another time if you get bored) and i got the tattoo and performed the ritual sacrifice.

I emailed you this pic but incase it comes down to bloggers voting in the contest, here is the link (see below for picture).

Now for the guilty pleasures:
I sing to my cat Alex every day when i come home. I even sing as alex sometimes. I am not a good singer so he’s probably embarrassed.

Speaking of bad singing i also am a big harry potter nerd and i used to be a part of an online Hogwarts website where you took classes and met other nerds. You would think that would be a guilty enough pleasure right there as it’s terribly embarrassing but i used to compete in a yearly singing contest there called HOL idol and i would actually record myself singing and enter the contest. 0________0 SO EMBARRASSING. I wrote bad fanfic too.

As perfect as a guilty pleasure can get. Did you see the tattoo on her hand??

Erin – here’s your ‘stachey stash!

RUNNER-UP #3 – The Byronic Man

Click on the picture of The Byronic Man in drag to read his entry.

Picking just one grand prize winner was a total drag.

B-Man, may I present your winnings. ‘Cause I know how you like to get drunk and dress up.

Honorable Mentions

Renee from Life in the Boomer Lane

Renee’s Entry:

I eat entire pints of coffee Haagen Dazs in the car as I drive alone in the car. No spoon. No napkin. By the time I’m finished, both the steering wheel and I are covered with ice cream. Yum.

AJ’s Mom from Bibeautyful

Click here to read AJ’s Mom’s touching entry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you so much, Chipmunks! You have truly made my guilty pleasure heart proud. Now – I’d better go – I’ve got a hot air balloon to catch!

I’m totally serious.

Photo credit (before annotation): http://www.sacramentohotairballoons.com/
Chipmunks Forever, I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now, Slap Bracelets, Uncategorized, Vlogalicious

Celebrating 1 Year of Blogging Awesomeness!

I mean I...I just never thought...my range as a, a...guilty pleasure blogger....one who writes solely about guilty pleasures...I mean, well, I...thank you.

A year into this blog, and I find I’m older, wiser simpler, and just a little closer to embracing my inner chipmunk.

Yes. That’s right. Today is…

My 1-Year Blog-iversary!!!

 

…Let’s do this:

 

Someone should alert the Academy.

I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now, Uncategorized, Vampires, Vlogalicious

And the Winner of GOGP’s First Video Blogging Contest IS…

Furry-in-a-hurry chipmunks, do you know how hard this was? A month ago, I decided to run a little video blogging contest, asking readers to submit a 30-second video about their silliest guilty pleasures. I wasn’t sure anyone would want to play along, and was thrilled (T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D) when Darla immediately jumped on board, encouraging several others to make a vlog soon thereafter.

I loved all of the submissions, for completely different reasons. I had a prize in mind for each and every one of you. Everyone is a winner.

Except there’s only one winner. 

This winner stole my heart while broadcasting from inside her closet. I think we can all agree her submission is hilarious – it even got Peppermeister laughing (and he doesn’t like to admit the things I think are funny are actually funny, even though they totally always are). That’s right. The winner is…

Deb from The Monster in Your Closet!!!

And now, I present to Deb her highly sought-after, one-of-a-kind prize: A custom jack-o-lantern! 

It started this morning with a sketch – should I try to carve Deb’s guilty pleasure (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), I wondered, or go with an homage to her blog theme (The Monster in Your Closet)? Here’s what I chose:

That didn’t seem quite right. So, I thought about making the monster look like Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.:

Still not right. Finally, I decided to make the monster a vampire-monster, to get the best of both worlds. He’s friendly because Deb is so sweet:

Next came taping the drawing onto the pumpkin, with Uncle Jesse (my dog) looking on curiously:

I transfered the outline of the drawing by poking holes into the pumpkin:

After carving, it looked like this:

And at last, the final product (picture taken, I should note, from inside my own closet)!

Hi Deb! My, you're looking winny today.

Congratulations, Deb!! You too are a guilty pleasure goddess. I would like to leave you with some Buffy dialogue about winning:

WHILE PLAYING THE GAME OF LIFE:

Anya: Crap! Look at this. Now I’m burdened with a husband, and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage…

Xander: That means you’re winning.

Anya: Really?

Xander: Yes, cash equals good.

Anya: Ooh, I’m so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?

P.S. – If I stop responding to comments, someone please check Renée’s basement. (On a related note, if you haven’t seen her vlog submission, you really should watch it here. It puts the treat in trick-or-treat.)