I heard you like to laugh. At my expense. Sounds like you're ready to take our friendship to the next level. You won't be disappointed. I swear on teeny, tiny baby chipmunks.
Grab your Valium and vodka, Chipmunks, because today we’re getting brutally honest over on the fantastic blog, Black Box Warnings.
Black Box Warnings is a collective of bloggers who share their personal stories about mental and physical health, parenting, daily tribulations, and life’s little moments.
Disclaimer: This guest post is a departure from what you normally see on Go Jules Go. (You’ve been Black Box Warned!) Thanks again to Le Clown and Melanie for the opportunity!
For this year’s Custom Jack-o-Lantern Giveaway Contest, I asked you to describe a FrankenFood – some odd food combo that you invented or sampled. Your submissions were spooktacular. Thank you!
It was a friiiiightfully difficult choice, but the winner is:
I so have this! I invented the best thing ever (still need to get in contact with someone about marketing this) when I was perhaps not low but ____. What you do is take two nacho cheese Doritos, the crumbs are the best for this, and then take a somewhat stale (staleness dependent on preference) chocolate raisin and sandwich it in between the Doritos. Pop it in your mouth and experience heaven. Seriously.
I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Could it possibly be good? I liked Raisinets, and I loved Doritos, but together?
Has there ever been a more polarizing FrankenFood? The overall verdict: WIN! You are my hero, Marta. But I already knew you had impeccable taste, given our shared love of Leonardo DiCaprio.Thus, I present your prize – a custom jack-o-lantern:
STEP 1: DESIGN OVERLY AMBITIOUS PATTERN
STEP 2: RIP GUTS OUT OF PERFECT PUMPKIN
Step 3: Tape Design On Pumpkin While Palms Begin to Sweat
Step 4: transfer design And question everything
Step 5: Tell Yourself, “There’s No Turning Back Now” over and over while shoving Raisinitos in your face
Step 6: Begin to Realize Self-Worth
Step 7: Marvel
Congratulations, Marta! (And seriously. Get on this Raisinito thing, pronto.)
Any burning questions for Babs? Did your parents perform any wizardry when you were growing up?
P.S. – You still have one more week to enter my Custom Jack-o-Lantern Giveaway Contest! It’s so easy and fun you’ll think you did something both easy and fun!
It’s my favorite time of [the bloggy calendar] year! Time for…
The World’s Most Amazing Halloween Contest*
*according to me
The rules are always a little different, but the prize remains the same: A custom jack-o-lantern, designed and carved by yours truly. I base the design on you/your entry, and am so excited to see what this year will bring.
Sometimes Frankensteining (eh? Get it?) a recipe together goes awry, other times it blows your mind.
To enter the contest, simply tell me about an unusual food or drink combo you’ve invented or sampled. You can a) leave it in the comments section below, b) blog about it and link back to this post (note: this contest is open to everyone – not just bloggers!), or c) email me: Julie.Davidoski@yahoo.com.
I’ll pick a winner based on insanity originality – it doesn’t matter if the recipe fails or flourishes, just that you gave it the old college try.
The Prize
A custom jack-o-lantern designed and carved by Go Jules Go.
Like this, only, you know, for you. (This is my dog, Uncle Jesse, playing Uno, obviously.)
Oh and Uncle Jesse says there might be an autographed picture in your future.
He doesn’t do this for just anyone, you know.
The Deadline
Monday, October 28th, midnight EST. Winner announced at 7am EST on Halloween, October 31st.
Last Thursday, I wrote a post on the fly while waiting to find out if I still had a [project management] job. Literally.
After three and a half hours of focused work and productivity, I finally got the alert that someone in senior management was ready for me. I steeled myself and entered her office.
“I don’t envy your job today!” I said as brightly as I could. I was relieved no one from Human Resources was present; it was just the two of us. Apparently, they trusted us not to staple anyone’s face or set ergonomically correct chairs on fire.
She gave a kind hello, but didn’t beat around the bush.
Even though, yes, this was the career equivalent of, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” or “It’s not you, it’s me,” I’d have time to blog, to bake, to blog about baking…
Don’t worry. I’ll explain everything.
…to stop and smell the roses, to follow signs from the heavens…
And I knew someone who’d be particularly happy to have me home every day.
Another silver lining to all of this? The outpouring of support and encouragement from colleagues, friends, family and you. Some of you have even contacted me offline about job opportunities, and the ridiculously thoughtful Misty of Misty’s Laws just sent this care package:
Misty warned me not to try to spend the gold coins.
My last day is the 18th, and after that? Well, if you thought my blog contests were epic before, hoo boy.
Have you ever made or considered a major career change?
I know it’s been a little over a week since I’ve regaled you with talking animals and my ceaseless wit, so I thought I’d pop in just to let you know my life is in utter turmoil.
I kid, I kid.
Although.
Right now I’m sitting in a spare office waiting to see if I still have a job [in project management]. They’re laying off 20% of my division’s workforce this month, and today everyone in my department is getting called down to the principal’s office to find out their Fate.
You might think this is an odd time to blog. Especially since I might have a lot of time to blog in the very near future (ba-da-BUM!), but what else am I gonna do? Work?
Nah. I’d rather reminisce about last weekend in Hershey, Pennsylvania, where I did a little of this…
…and a little of that…
…and a whole lotta this:
Troegenator might -seriously- be the best beer I’ve ever had.
I’m sorry. I don’t know where the “chocolate bacon” came from.
Yes I do. And I know where it’s going.
I think about Rachel all the time.
I thought of Rachel when I texted my hub, Peppermeister, about Monday night’s dinner:
I thought of Rachel when I made last night’s dinner, and Peppermeister left me a bowl of his mysterious homegrown peppers. Surely I couldn’t put any in the bacon turkey meatloaf without trying them first?
I might be sleeping on the couch tonight. Care to join me, Rachey-Poo?
In all seriousness, Rachel is one of those undeniably special people who is not only talented, beautiful and clever, but always knows just what to say to let you know she’s there for you, and she gets it she’ll totally hook you up with the Amish bacon. I hope you’ll join me in wishing her a VERY happy birthday!
If you had to wear someone’s face on your chest, whose would it be (besides Rachel’s) and why? (Bet you didn’t think you’d be answering that question today.)
All kidding aside, I’ve learned to embrace my beloved’s hobby of growing insanely spicy peppers. This past weekend, I even agreed to go to Bower’s Chile Pepper Festival in eastern Pennsylvania.
We took his car, since mine decided it’s done with life.
The evolution of [two flushes of] my transmission fluid, as depicted by Darrin, Auto Shop Guru, Sep 7, 2013. “Yours was like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”For $5, we found a sweet parking spot a couple of blocks away. In an Amish man’s yard. I appreciated both his entrepreneurial nature and his lawn accessories.
We had no idea what to expect, but the festival was jalapeño–poppin’. There were plenty of vendors touting everything from mild pepper mustards and jams and homegrown delights…
…to “butt-puckering” demon-peppers:
Mostly, I tried not to lose Peppermeister amid his people.
Seriously. They all looked like this.
I even partook in the madness.
This is actually one of my favorites (I know. I have a favorite): Hinkelhatz.
But my two favorite moments had nothing to do with peppers. Not really, anyway.
FAVORITE MOMENT #1
“She just wanted the attention,” Peppermeister, the Psych major, said on the ride home. “Did you notice she wouldn’t eat it until everyone was watching?”
“I gave her a lot of attention. I told her she was insane. I thought she’d like it.”
“She didn’t want the attention of WOMEN.”
“Ahhhhhhh.”
FAVORITE MOMENT #2
We took a wagon ride over to the nearby pepper farm, and they left it up to the passengers to decide how many could fit on the wagon.
“I think we should sit on opposite sides so both legs are touching strangers,” Peppermeister joked while we waited on line.
He never could have imagined a woman would squeeze herself onboard…and on his lap. Without a single word.
What are your favorite “people watching” places and/or moments?
Now that I’m living life with a Fitbit (a.k.a. the pedometer on crack), I feel I owe you some dieting advice and exercise tips.
It’ll only cost you $100 and your soul.
For example, did you know either 8 shots of vodka or a bottle of champagne is a perfectly valid meal substitute, calorically speaking?
And you don’t even have to chew!
As for exercise, just take a gander at my personal trainer:
Isn’t he magnificent? I call him Tadd, with two D’s, because he looks like he inspired every DoubleMint commercial ever made.
Tadd leads my 8-Minute video work-outs, and is very beautiful and nice. Tadd reminds me to “keep smiling, gang! After all, it’s only 8 goddamn minutes!”
There are four DVDs in here. Tadd’s not very good at math.
Despite Tadd’s belief in the power of tomato cans as handheld weights and unitards as a general life choice, I leave him feeling less than optimistic.
Sure, my buns are burning up, Tadd, but so is my will to live.
Grab your Valium and vodka, Chipmunks, because today we’re getting brutally honest over on the fantastic blog, Black Box Warnings.
Go Jules Go 