Animals, Chipmunks Forever, Slap Bracelets, Uncategorized

Slap Bracelets Comeback – Part 1!

I’ll be honest. I sensed in my heart of hearts that chipmunks young and old, or in that strange in-between age where you know you should stop making PowerPoint presentations about a certain “Glee” cast member but you just can’t seem to help yourself, and you genuinely wonder if maybe you never really embraced your childhood and you’re a victim of this unstoppable regression and pretty soon you’re going to start sucking your thumb and eating cake while smearing icing all over your face because you think it’ll get a laugh…wait….what was I saying? Oh, right: I knew bringing back slap bracelets was a shoo-in.

So I wasn’t surprised to hear from many of you once I announced my slap bracelet giveaway. After shipping out several dozen, I waited patiently for you to hold up your end of the deal – to send me a picture of you/your loved ones/pets wearing the slap bracelet(s) so I could post it on this very blog.

I was not disappointed. The pictures I’ve gotten so far are…well, you’ll see. I’m going to share the photos in installments, to ensure that you, and your blogs (where applicable), receive the adoration they deserve. To be fair, I’m posting them in the order in which they were received.

Now enough of me. On to you!

#1 – Renee of Life in the Boomer Lane

After you see this picture, I don’t think I’ll have to say much else to convince you Renee is a true guinea pig chipmunk, but you should also know that Renee is co-author of “Saving the Best for Last” and “Invisible No More,” which you can learn more about here. Not only is she an accomplished writer, but she is funny as all get-out, and much like slap bracelets, her humor transcends age.

Meet Reesees. (Renee was guinea pig-sitting over the holidays!)

#2 – Peg of Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings

I first spotted Peg commenting on The Good Greatsby‘s blog; she was always coming up with captions for his caption contest that were better than mine, as evidenced by her constant ‘winner’ and ‘runner-up’ status. It took me a little while to shove my ego aside and drink the Peg-o-Leg Kool-Aid. After witnessing a lively, and hilarious, competition between Darla and Peg over said caption contest, I poured myself a nice, tall glass. Peg’s blog always makes me laugh out loud. She really understands the power of illustrating a joke, which you need to see for yourself.

Here’s the message that Peg sent along with these fab pictures. Bottoms up!:

The slap bracelets arrived, and were a GODsend over the New Year’s holiday. Here are just some of the things that happened because of them.

1) My normally feeble morning coffee was definitely more robust and richer tasting when I was wearing the bracelet.

2) Its secret powers inbued me with the strength of will needed to tackle the dreaded post-Christmas task of tree put-awaying.

3) When my GPS went out on the highway, the magnetized core of the slap bracelet drew my hand to true north, thereby allowing me to make it to my destination safely.

4) No less than 3 college-age hipsters fought for the privilege of wearing the uber-cool slap bracelets of style.

5) As for my cat, Beeby, well…I won’t lie.  She didn’t like them.  Her response was something like “get this torture device off me, you sadist!”


So except for Beeby, it was all good.  Thank you for saving New Years for the entire Peg-o-leg family!

#3 – Thoughtsy of Thoughts Appear

I am new to Thoughtsy’s blog, but I can tell you right now I am falling in love. For one thing, she currently has a picture of a kitten inside a box of Pop Tarts on her Facebook widget; for another, one of her recent posts was dedicated to dessert-flavored vodka. I am really excited to learn about what else we have in common, and to find out more about her relationship with Kiefer Sutherland.

Thank you SO much, Renee, Peg and Thoughtsy! You have officially been upgraded to Chief Chipmunk status.

And believe me when I say – you are NOT going to want to miss the next installment(s)!

 I still have more slap bracelets, so stop schmooping around and email me at JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com!

Uncategorized

A Warm and Fuzzy…Monster in Your Closet?

Photo Credit: blogs.middlebury.edu

Spunky ‘munks, several months ago I had the absolute privilege of writing a guest post for Deborah Bryan’s blog, The Monster in Your Closet.

I wrote this guest post for Deb’s series, For This I Am Thankful. Deb scheduled my post for December 2nd, which means it went up today! I’m very excited and hope you’ll check it out here: Life is Like An Empty Box of Chocolates (Because I Ate Them All).

Saint Deb

I’m in good company with the past contributors; their lovely posts have covered a wide range of topics woven together by their theme of gratitude. All are more than worth reading (you can do so here).

Many of you know Deb, but for those of you who don’t, don’t be misled by her blog title – Deb Bryan is currently in the running for sainthood. Her ability to encourage writers and build blogging communities rivals her ability to write kick-chipmunk-tail young adult novels. I recently read The Monster’s Daughter and you should DEFINITELY check it out! Deb is also the winner of my first video blogging contest, which is one of my favorite posts to date. (I’m not sure I could ever pick a favorite post of Deb’s, but this one is up there.)

In other guilty pleasure news, I’ve got lots of goodies to share with you over the coming weeks! Gingerbread may or may not will be involved. And don’t worry – I haven’t forgotten about my plan to bring back slap bracelets (mentioned in my vlog). Stay tuned.

Everyone Loves a Braggart...Right?, Just For Fun, Uncategorized

I Heard You Like to Laugh

He-eyyyyy.

Ch-ch-chipmunks! Did you know I’m famous?

All right. Cut it out. That wasn’t the funny part.

I was recently interviewed for Girl on the Contrary’s “Interviews with Celebrities” feature, and she posted the interview today. Check it out here! But only if you like things like smiling, rainbows and music. Or if you’ve been dying to know my thoughts on Bret Michaels. Either or.

Don’t forget – only two more days to enter GOGP’s AMAZING Video Blogging Contest! I cannot emphasize enough how awesome this prize is.

Photo Credit: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/4752238023_534d31d34c.jpg.

Chipmunks Forever, Just For Fun, Uncategorized, Vlogalicious

Blog, Blog, Blog Your Sillies Out

Hi cutie-patootie critters! You’re probably gonna want to play this while you read:

There is definitely something in the air today. Fridays usually bring out a certain level of giddiness, it’s true, but today takes the [ooey, gooey, chocolate-filled, cream cheese icing-topped, chipmunk-decorated] cake.

Not only was I positively thrilled to see (literally, see!) three of my favorite bloggers, Darla from She’s a MaineiacDeb from The Monster in Your Closet and Renée from Lessons From Teachers and Twits, participate in GOGP’s first video blogging contest, but some of my other favorite bloggers also seem to have caught their own case of the sillies in the past 24 hours. Love it! <–Understatement of the year.

“People who don’t know me think I’m amazing” from An Attempt At Humor

“If I Didn’t Work” from Lost and Forgotten

“Guess What?” from Girl on the Contrary (the comments on this one are priceless)

And now, I leave you with a fact that’s never before wormed its way into this blog: Ten years ago (!!), I met The Peppermeister while working at a special needs elementary school. We plan to leverage our combined awesomeness expertise, and barn, into an enchanting special ed summer camp within the next year or two (for realsies). Anyhoo, “Shake Your Sillies Out” was the best song I learned in those two years working at the school. Maybe the best song I’ve ever learned, well, period. What’s your favorite silly song? (Doesn’t have to be a kid song. I’m sure you guys remember this one from Ace of Base.)

P.S. – Why, yes, yes I did actually shake my sillies out before posting this. So enthusiastically that I forgot I let the dog out (…crud, don’t tell Peppermeister).

Just For Fun, Uncategorized, Vlogalicious

WordPressure and How it Relates to Spontaneous Combustion

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Lofty post title, if I do say so myself. But it’s only fitting for one who has Merriam-Webster on speed dial. They’re currently reviewing my latest submission, and I have high hopes:

WordPressure (verb) – to peer pressure people who read your [Wordpress] blog into doing something they might otherwise never consider. (Though they should. Because you’ve given them a chance to win a truly spectacular prize, which you would gladly award yourself, but think it’s finally time someone else feel the amazing glow of victory.)

That, ‘munks (as in chipmunks), is WordPressure. WordPressure reminds me of another knock-your-flaming-socks-off kind of pressure* (annnnnd that’s how it relates, in case this post title was still bothering you):

If you see this guy, RUN.

Spontaneous Combustion.

Much like guillotines, this is one of my more…eccentric…guilty pleasures. (I blame Buffy. I’m sure you remember that dance-til-you-die episode.) Rumor has it, this week, a man in Ireland died of spontaneous combustion.

Do you buy it? Or are you too busy thinking about your own weird guilty pleasure (ya’ll better DIVULGE!)?

*And by pressure, apparently I mean: a buildup of static electricity inside the body or from an external geomagnetic force exerted on the body (thanks, science.howstuffworks.com).

Just For Fun, Lists, TV Junkie, Uncategorized

The Guilty Pleasure Gods Are Smiling – Here’s Proof!

Alvin, Theodore, Simon. All my awesome little chipmunks. I don’t even know where to begin.

Since my last post, so many amazing things have happened. I think it’s because the guilty pleasure gods finally realized they have wi-fi, and have subsequently read my blog, and are letting me know they’ve heard me.

I know. My, I mean the gods', best work yet.

(SPOILER ALERT IF YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE “GLEE” PREMIERE YET! BUT SERIOUSLY. GET ON THAT SHIZ!)

PROOF #1: Blaine. Is. In. New Directions!!!!

That’s right. Like with any husband of mine, soaring instantly to success is inevitable. Darren Criss, a.k.a. Blaine Anderson on “Glee”, a.k.a my Second Husband, has left Dalton Academy to join the rest of the cast at McKinley High. That is no easy feat (except for the 10,000 people they let win “The Glee Project” this summer). I sure do hope they keep The Dalton Academy Warblers around, though.

Side note: Second Husband is coming to Broadway in January for 3 weeks, to replace Third Husband Candidate, Daniel Radcliffe, in “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.” I mention this because it means I have approximately 3 1/2 months to work on my “Why Polygamy Is The Right Choice for You” presentation. Powerpoint tips and public speaking pointers are welcome.

PROOF #2. The Good Greatsby imparted his timeless words of wisdom upon me today.

I plan on putting his advice into action immediately. You can check out the post here.

 

PROOF #3. I discovered a wickedly funny blog recently: Not Quite Old.

If you haven’t already read Nancy’s blog, head on over now! She was just given a Versatile Blogger Award, but I think she is better suited for the Wear-A-Diaper-Before-You-Read-This-Cause-It’s-That-Funny Blogger Award (though she certainly does show versatility in the subject matter she manages to turn into comedy gold – who knew orphans could be so chuckle-worthy?). In that way we are strikingly similar.

That’s all for now. Don’t forget to say your prayers tonight*.

*I should explain. The guilty pleasure gods are not all about genuflections and formality, if you catch my drift. They prefer you pass out on the couch after eating too many E.L. Fudge cookies, and you really, really need to make sure you leave the TV on. Well, I mean, only if you want to show your true devotion, that is.

Everyone Loves a Braggart...Right?, Food, Just For Fun, Marriage, Music

Two Awesome Announcements From Your Favorite Blogging Power Couple

Let’s get right down to it, chipmunks.

Announcement Numero Uno

Hubster’s Peppermeister blog was Freshly Pressed (featured on the homepage of WordPress) today! I’m doing a mediocre job pretending not to be jealous that he was Freshly Pressed so shortly after starting a blog. You can read his now-famous post here.

Have you heard? He likes peppers.

Announcement Numero Dos

I’ve been contributing to a nifty new website, iheardin.com. I thought I’d point out a couple posts in case you’re looking for some new tunes! If you like reggae and cool things, Echo Movement released their latest album this week, and the overly-talented Hugh Laurie (of “House” fame) also released an album.

I like hats. And booze.
Animals, Booze, Chipmunks Forever, Just For Fun, Uncategorized

This One’s For You. Yeah, YOU!

Oh you, my darling Guilty Pleasure chipmunk*, let’s talk. Grab a chair drink. Can I just tell you something? I’ve been struggling with whether or not I should’ve emailed you at your personal email address when you subscribed to my blog. I wanna write and say, “Thank you. You’ve totally validated my existence and if you’re ever in Jersey I’ll be glad to make you dinner and let my dog lick your face raw,” but it seems like that might be a bit too intrusive. (In case I’ve worried anyone, if you’ve written me to thank me for subscribing to your blog, I was thrilled.)

Related to this, I wrote a very silly post back in April (2 months after I started this blog) which I intended to post should I ever catch that rare, Freshly Pressed unicorn (i.e., get featured on the home page of wordpress.com). Well, shockingly, I did wrangle the majestic, one-horned beast this week -when I least expected it, natch, and had long given up caring too much about it- but the post was sarcastic and clouded the true gratitude and humility I felt in responding to the exciting flurry of sweet comments.

So, lest there be ANY doubt how I feel about you, and by you I mean those who’ve ever read, and/or continue to read, my little blog, and share your lovely, hilarious thoughts (so yeah, this means YOU! Right now! You!):

*I love chipmunks. So much. This is the greatest compliment I know how to give. Besides sharing my Reese’s peanut butter cups. Or my vodka. No, no. Sorry. I got carried away. Paws off the Smirnoff.

Uncategorized

Everyone’s a Winner with WordPress’s “Surprise Me” Mode

Those wee gerbils running WordPress.com  The amazing staff of WordPress, who I’m certain are soon going to put me on Freshly Pressed (i.e., the home page of WordPress), sure do have a sense of humor.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Try updating your settings. Go to Users > Personal, and check off the first box (“Fun: Surprise Me”):

The first thing I noticed about ‘Surprise Me’ mode was a new check box when I went to add a Post:

What differentiates a regular post from a super-awesome one, you ask? In my case, nothing.

The second thing I noticed was on the Site Stats page, a tab to “Humanize” the numbers (click on picture to enlarge):

Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever know what fun facts they have for numbers greater than 178 (and 178 heartfelt thank you’s to “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”, by the way).

Then, today, in the ‘Track My Comments’ section, I saw this:

My guilty pleasure hat fascinator goes off to you, WordPress!

P.S. – To read the hilarious post referenced in the above Comments, click here.

Uncategorized

Fountain of Uncouth

Let’s see. We’ve already covered the fact that I was an extra on “Dawson’s Creek,” am obsessed with Glee, Harry Potter and little miss pageants, and that I named my dog after a “Full House” character. You might be thinking this well’s about to dry up.

Nay, friends, I’ve only just begun. (It certainly helps that blogging about guilty pleasures is, in and of itself, a guilty pleasure. That shouldn’t be allowed. It’s like trying to stare at the sun.)

Here are a mere few of the things I plan to bring to your [rapt] attention over the coming weeks. (Please feel free to express your gratitude by subscribing. Or by sending pictures of animals dressed as other animals.)

1. What to expect if you see Daniel Radcliffe naked, live, as I have.

2. What NOT to say if someone asks if you want to attend a week-long Project Management Boot Camp in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania.

3. 9021-Oh My God.

4. Robert Pattinson SINGS! (Holy sh*t, how have I not gotten to this yet!?)

5. My Plan to Save Mankind, a.k.a. The Power of Haikus

6. MY MOST SHAMEFUL GUILTY PLEASURE OF. ALL. TIME.

See you on the flip side, Crackers (have you not tried these yet?)!